My Immortal Ghetto Version
by BasicWriter
Summary: Title says it! This is a ghetto version of the worst FanFic ever. Might contain offensive stuff, but I'm not trying to be racist. Rated M for sexual scenes, cuss words, and nudity.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there! Recently, I've been reading the worst fanfic ever, My Immortal, and I thought, why not make a ghetto version of it? So, here it is!**

**P.S. I'm not trying to be racist or anything. If this offences you or something, I apologize deeply.**

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Chapter 1.

AN: special blingz (get it, cuz im geto) 2 ma gf (ew not in dat way) shanaynay, bootybitch123 4 helpin me wit da story n spelin. u rok gurl! romeo u iz da luv of my geto life u rok 2! Chris Brown ROX!

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Hi my name is Shaquifa Gheto'ness Taylor Shanaynay Brown and I have long pitch black hair with yellow highlights that reach my mid-back and chocolate brown eyes and a lot of people tell me I look like Ashanti (AN: if u dont no hu she iz get da fuk outta here!). I ain't related to Chris Brown but I wish I was because he's such a fucking hottie. I'm a professional rapper. I have negro black skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in Iceland where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm ghetto (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear whatever I want. I love GenX and Factory4U and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a blue striped tank top with shiny blue jeans, orange sandals and a golden bracelet on my left hand. I was wearing hot pink lipstick and hot pink eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was very sunny, which I was very happy about. A lot of rich snobs stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

"Hey Shaquifa gurl!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was...Draco Malfoy!

"Hey, what up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothin." he said shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

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AN: iz it gewd? plz tel me blingz!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

AN: blingz 2 bootybitch123 4 helpin me wit da chapta! btw snobz stop flamin ma story ok!

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The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was sunny again. I opened the door of my box and drank some koolaid from a bottle I had. My box was yellow with pink lace at the ends. I got out of my box and took off my giant Chris Brown t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a yellow and green tank top that showed my belly button, yellow and green shorts, yellow and green sandals, a long silver necklace, and gray bracelets on both hands. I put on one pair of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a puffy ponytail.

My friend, Mo'Nique (AN: shanaynay diz iz u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her pitch black pigtails and opened her lighter brown eyes. She put on her Wocka Flocka Flame t-shirt, pink shorts, white boots with green shoelaces and pink soles, and green and pink bracelets on both of her wrists. We both put on hot pink lipstick and hot pink eyeshadow.

"OMG gurl, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So what?" I said, blushing.

"You like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Ravenclaw common room and into the Great Hall.

"Nuh uh!" I shouted.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hey gurl." he said.

"Hey." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Usher having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

"What? No way!" I screamed. I love Usher. He is my favorite singer, besides Chris Brown.

"Well...you finna go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.


	3. Chapter 3

**NOTE: Usher is dating Paris Hilton in this fic, but they're not dating in real life. Just wanted to get that straight.**

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMIN DA STORY SNOBZ OK! oddawize blingz 2 da geto peepz 4 da gewd revews! BLINGZ AGEN SHANAYNAY! BTW i dont own diz or da lyrics 4 Usher.

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On the night of the concert I put on my black sleeveless shirt with pink stripes, plum colored shorts, a black studded belt, pink converse shoes, pink socks with gray stripes, a short golden necklace and two gold bracelets on my wrists. I straightened my hair. I felt a little happy then, so I counted my money. Then I read a ghetto book while I listened to some Usher. I put on lots of hot pink lipstick. I drank some koolaid so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car. He was wearing a Drake t-shirt (he would play at the show too), sagging jeans that exposed his gray underwear, gray vans, and glitter on his face (AN: a lotta kewl boiz wear it ok!).

"Hey Draco!" I said in a happy voice.

"Hey Shaquifa gurl." he said back. We walked into his flying green Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 123) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Usher and Wocka Flocka. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the twerk pit at the front of the stage and I twerked in front of Draco as we listened to Usher.

"Up in the club with my homies,  
Tryna get a lil' V-I,  
But keep it down on the low key,  
'Cause you know how it is" (i dont own da lyricz 2 dat song)

"Usher is so fucking fine!" I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"What wrong?" I asked as I twerked to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it aight I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Fo real?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Yeah." I said. "Besides I don't even know Usher and he going out with Paris fucking Hilton. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Usher and Drake for their autographs and photos with them. We got Usher concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into...the Forbidden Forest!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

AN: i sed stop flamin ok Shaquifa name SHAQUIFA not Mary Sue OK! DRACO IZ SO IN LUV wit her dat he actin difrent! dey nu eachodda b4 ok!

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"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck is you doing?"

Draco don't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

"What the fuck nigga?" I asked angrily.

"Shaquifa?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his brown eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much excitement and happiness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then...suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree. He took off my top and I took off his clothes. I even took off my bra. Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm. We started to kiss everywhere and my negro body became all warm. And then...

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was...Dumbledore!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

AN: STOP flamin! if u flame it meanz u iz a snob! da only reason Dumbledore cussed iz cuz he had a hedache ok n on top of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 havin sex! PS i aint updatin til i get 5 gewd revews!

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Dumbledore made Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry soft tears down my negro black face. Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall.

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Is you okay, Shaquifa?" Draco asked me gently.

"Yeah." I lied. I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a purple tank top with huge black stripes, brown shorts with a purple striped belt with a flower buckle, purple sandals, a golden necklace, and golden wristbands on my wrists. When I came out...

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'OMG' by Usher. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

AN: shut da fuk up snobz ok! PS i aint updatin til u gimme gewd revews!

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The next day I woke up in my box. I put on a purple striped tank top that showed my belly button, blue shorts with a studded belt, purple sandals, two purple wristbands, and gold wristbands. I put on one pair of money sign earrings in my ears. I spray-painted my hair hot pink.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Fruit Loops cereal with koolaid instead of milk, and a glass of grape koolaid. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the koolaid spilled over my top.

"You fucking bitch!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the negro black face of a ghetto boy with a black afro that appeared to be a wig. He was wearing so much glitter he was shining bright like the sun. He didn't have glasses no more and now he was wearing brown contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead no more. He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy ghetto accent. He looked exactly like Usher. He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sick bastard.

"My bad." he said in a shy voice.

"It cool. What your name is?" I questioned.

"I'm Harry Potter, but most peeps call me Wiggie these days." he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I wear wigs everyday." he giggled.

"Well, I'm a rapper." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.


	7. Chapter 7 moment 4 life

Chapter 7. moment 4 life

AN: ok u guyz im only writin diz cuz i got 5 gewd revews. n btw I aint writin da nxt chapta til i get 10 gewd ones! STOP FLAMIN OR ILL REPORT U! Shaquifa aint a Mary Sue ok she aint perfect SHE GETO! n she got problemz she cheap 4 godz sake!

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Draco and I held our negro black hands with golden rings on our fingers as we went upstairs. I was wearing money signs on my nails in green nail polish (AN: c do dat sound like a Mary Sue 2 u?). I waved to Wiggie. Some happiness was in his ghetto eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then...

We started frenching passively and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my hot pink satin bra and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c iz dat stupid?)

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a red heart with an arrow through it. On it in ghetto writing were the words...Wiggie!

I was so angry.

"You fucking bitch!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No, wait! It aint what you think it is!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

"No, you fucking bitch!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"

I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Wiggie's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

"WIGGIE POTTER, YOU FUCKING BITCH!" I yelled.


	8. Chapter 8

**Huge apologies to whoever's name is Elizabeth! If you read this chapter, you'll know why!**

Chapter 8.

AN: stop flamin ok! if u do den u iz a snob!

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Everyone in the class stared at me and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

"Shaquifa, it aint what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.

My friend Jayla Marie Gaines smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her long waist-length black hair (which is put in a long ponytail) and opened her brown eyes like chocolate that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had negro black skin that is actually makeup. Hermione was kidnapped when she was born. Her real parents are rappers and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father became famous for writing a rap song about it (he was very happy about it). She still has dreams about it and she is very spirited and happy. It also turns out her real last name is Gaines and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Ghettoism she is in Ravenclaw now not Griffindoor.)

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

"Wiggie, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

Draco's POV

I don't know why Shaquifa was so mad at me. I had went out with Wiggie (I'm bi and so is Shaquifa) for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Elizabeth, a retarded snobby fucker. We were just good friends now. He had gone through terrific moments, and now he was ghetto. (Haha, like I would hang out with a snob.)

Shaquifa's POV

"But I ain't going out with Draco no more!" said Wiggie.

"Yeah right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virginity to Draco and then I started to bust into tears.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9.

AN: stop flamin ok! I didnt read al da boox! dis is frum da movie ok so it aint my folt if Dumbledore cuss! besides I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reeson Snape dont like Harry now iz cuz he Rich and Wiggie iz Geto! CHRIS BROWN ROX!

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I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible man with brown eyes and no nose and everything started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose (basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing baggy clothes but it was obvious he wasn't ghetto. It was... Voldemort!

"No!" I shouted in a ghetto voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius!" and I couldn't run away.

"Crookshanks!" I shouted at him. Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I didn't care what he thinks so I stopped.

"Shaquifa." he yelled. "Thou must kill Wiggie Potter!"

I thought about Wiggie and his sexy eyes and his ghetto wigs and how his face looks just like Usher. I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Wiggie before I went out with him and they broke up?

"Nuh uh, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged.

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"

"How the fuck did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-u-iz-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly. "And if you doth not kill Wiggie, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

"Draco!" I said. "Hey!"

"Hey gurl." he said back but his face was all relaxed. He was wearing messy glitter kind of like a dollar sign (gedit) between Usher and Chris Brown.

"Is you okay?" I asked.

"Uh huh." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got mad at you but I thought you was cheatin' on me." I expelled.

"It's aight." he said all ghetto and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10.

AN: stop it u gay bitchez if u dont lik ma story den fuk off! ps it turnz out Jayla Marie aint a muggle afta al n she n Wiggie r careless dat y dey moved houses ok!

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I was really scared about Voldemort all day. I was even relaxed when I went to rehearsals with my ghetto hip hop and rap group Silly Ghetto Sunflower 123. I am the lead singer/rapper of it. People say that we sound like a cross between Usher, Kanye West and Chris Brown. The other people in the band are Jayla Marie, Wiggie, Draco, Ron (although we call him Dante now. He has black hair put in braids.) and Hagrid. Only today Draco and Wiggie are extremely happy so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was counting his money and Wiggie was probably watching a ghetto movie like Above the Rim. I put on a hot pink tank top that showed off my belly button and tiny matching shorts that said Drake on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I really ain't.

We were singing a cover of 'Forever' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into laughter.

"Shaquifa! Is you OK?" Jayla Marie asked in a concerted voice.

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily. And then I said. "Voldemort came and the fucking bitch told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears.

Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.

"Why didnt you tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking rich snobby muggle bitch!" (c iz dat outta character?)

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all soft tears. Then he ran out crying.

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dat basically aint cussin and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) "Shaquifa Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by shooting himself with a gun."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11.

AN: I sed stop flamin u snobz! c if dis chapta iz stupid! it dealz wit rly serius issues! so c 4 urself if itz stupid btw blingz 2 ma frend Shanaynay 4 helpin me!

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"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! Jayla Marie tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears and then I slowly counted my money. They fall all over my clothes so I put them back in my wallet, take them off and jumped into the bath while I put on a T-Pain song at full volume. I grabbed a gun and almost shot myself in my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking upset! I got out of the bathtub and put on a lime green tank, blue booty shorts, gold pleated sandals, and a wristband that said Swag on it. I put on one pair of hashtag earrings. Then I looked out the window and screamed...Snape was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Lupin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

"WHAT THE FUCK, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU RAPISTS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a pink towel with a picture of Wocka Flocka on it. Suddenly Wiggie ran in.

"Abra Kedavra!" he yelled at Snape and Lupin pointing his wand. I took my gun and shot Snape and Lupin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumbledore ran in. "Shaquifa, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he shouted looking at Snape and Lupin and then he waved his wand and suddenly...

Hagrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

"What the fuck do you know, Hagrid? You is just a lil Hogwarts student!"

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT..." Hagrid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A GHETTOIST!"

"This cannot be." Snape said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumbledore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors."

"YOU AIN'T GOT NONE!" I yelled in madly.

Lupin held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough koolaid.

"Why are you doing this?" Lupin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to shoot him because I felt faint.

"BECAUSE...BECAUSE..." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a ghetto version of a song by Good Charlotte.

"Because you're ghetto?" Snape asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraid it meant he was connected with God.

"Because I LOVE HER!"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12.

AN: stop flamin ok Hagrid iz a pedo 2 a lotta ppl in american skoolz r lik dat I wanted 2 adress da issue! how do u no Snape aint a Operanist k plus Hagrid aint rly in luv wit Shaquifa dat wuz Sedric ok!

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I was about to shoot myself with the silver gun that Draco had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.

"NO!" I thought it was Hagrid but it was Wiggie. He started to scream. "AHH! NOOOOO! MY FUCKING SCAR!" and then...his eyes rolled up! You could only see his whites.

I stopped. "How did u know?"

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you don't got a scar no more!" I shouted.

"I do but Dante changed it into a dollar sign for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! then I got a vision of what was happening to Draco...Voldemort got him bondage!"

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from mental problems. Snape and Lupin and HAGRID were there too. They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were pedophiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz. Dumbledore had constipated the video camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Hagrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of black roses.

"Shaquifa I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a serious voice, giving me the roses.

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color black anyway, and I don't like fucked up snobs like you." I snapped. Hagrid had been mean to me before for being ghetto.

"No Shaquifa." Hagrid says. "Those are not roses."

"What, are they ghetto too you rich snob?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me black roses.

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't" I replied. "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snape and Lupin." Who MASTABATED (c iz dat speld rong) to it he added silently.

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the black roses. "These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an ghetto look in his eye and muttered "Keep fucking bitch, ain't shit to talk about."

"That aint a spell that a Chris Brown song." I corrected him wisely.

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cords." Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo chrisicli brownicio(4 al u kewl geto Chris Brown fans out der, dat iz a tribut! specially 4 Shanaynay I luv u gurl!) imo ono ito!"

And then the roses turned into a huge pink flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was pink. Now I knew he wasn't a snob.

"OK I believe you now where the fuck is Draco?"

Hagrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

"U c, Shaquifa," Dumbledore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wut iz in da flames(HAHA U REVIEWAS FLAMES GEDDIT) u must find urself 1st, k?"

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hagrid yelled. DUMBLedore looked shocked. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.

Hagrid stormed off back into his bed. "U iz a liar, prof dumbledore!"

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a cyan blue tan top with matching cyan denim shorts. I put on cyan boots with pictures of 50 Cent on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Karen Lawson from Menace II Society (if u dont no hu she iz u iz a snob so fuk off!) and I put on bright pink lipstick and pink lipgloss.

"You look hip, girl." Jayla Marie said happily. "Blings (geddit) you do too." I said happily too, but I was still enthusiastic. I counted my money feeling totally happy. I put the shades on so Snape and Lupin couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Wiggie was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all happy because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was examining a Hufflepuff.

"Hey gurl." he said in a relaxed way. "Hey." I said in an equally relaxed way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful brown ghetto eyes so much like Draco's. Then...we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.

"Wiggie you fucking bitch!" I said slapping him. "Quit tryina screw me. You know I love Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then he started to scream. "AAHHH! NOOOOO!" and then...his eyes rolled up! You could only see his whites.

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you aint got a scar no more!" I shouted.

"I do but Dante changed it into a dollar sign for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco...Voldemort got him bondage!"

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SPECIAL BLINGZ 2 SHANAYNAY MY GHETTO RAP SISTA WTF U IZ SUPPOSED 2 RITE DIS!

HEY SHANAYNAY DO U NO WHER MA SWEATA IZ?


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13.

AN: Shanaynay blingz 4 helpin me agen im sry I took ur poster of Chris but dat guy is such a fukin sexbom! SNOBZ STOP FLAMIN!

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Wiggie and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

"Dumbledore Dumbledore!" we both yelled. Dumbledore came there.

"What is it that you want now you despicable preps?" he asked angrily.

"Voldemort got Draco!" we shouted at the same time.

He laughed in a ghetto voice.

"No! We gotta save Draco!" we begged.

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Shaquifa." he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away. Wiggie started complaining. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: dont u thnk gay guyz r lik so hot!)

"Its aight!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then...suddenly we were in Voldemort's lair!

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!"  
It was...Voldemort!


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14.

AN: fuk off SNOBZ ok! Shanaynay blingz 4 helpin agen. im sry i couldnt updat but i wuznt feeling wel n i had 2 go 2 da hospital cuz i wuz vry sik. PS i aint updatin til u gimme 10 gewd reviews!

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WARNIN: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IZ XTREMLY SCARY. VIEWER EXCRETION ADVIZED.

We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was. Draco was there happily counting his money. Snaketail was forcing him too. Wiggie and I ran in front of Snaketail.

"Rid my sight you despicable snobs!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he. Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. "ShaquifaIloveyouwiluhavesexwithme." he said. (in diz he iz 16 yrs old so he aint a pedofile ok)

"What?" I asked.

"Shaquifa I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail. I started laughing all ghetto like. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? Man, you is so stupid you fucking bitch." I said angrily. Then I shot him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died. I laughed very happily.

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. Then...he started coming! We could hear his high heels clacking to us. So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Wiggie went away. There I started smiling.

"Why you so happy gurl?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw. He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz he so sexy) and a really huge you-know-what and everything.

"It aint fair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and snobs here except for Jayla Marie, cause she ain't ugly or nothing."

"Why you wanna be ugly? I don't like snobs anyway. They are fucking sluts." answered Draco.

"Yeah but everyone in love with me! Like Snape and Lupin took a video of me naked. Hagrid say he in love with me. Wiggie like me and now even Snaketail in love with me! I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't God have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (An: dont wory Shaquifa aint a prep or nothin but a lotta ppl told her she prety) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15.

AN: stop flamin ok! btw u suk frum now on evry tim sum1 flamz me im gona mak sur evry1 hatez you! blingz 2 shanaynay 4 helpin!

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"Shaquifa Shaquifa!" shouted Draco sadly. "Please, come back!"

But I was too mad.

"Whatever! Go have sex with Wiggie!" I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my hot pink door with my hot pink key. It had a picture of Wocka Flocka on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Wiggie. I started to laugh and giggle. I took out my wallet and started to count my money. I then counted the change all happy. Then I looked at my hot pink Usher watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.

I put on a yellow tank top that sai Swag on the front and green denim booty shorts and golden dollar sign rings on my fingers. Then I put on purple boots that said Usher all over them with hot pink letters. I put my ghetto black hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all happy and relaxed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a dollar sign into a hot pin microphone. Suddenly the microphone turned to Draco!

"Shaquifa I love you!" he shouted sadly. "I dont care what those fucking rich snobs fink. U iz da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to lay around and count my money all the time. Now I just wanna be with you. I fucking love you!" Then...he started to sing "Yea" (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Usher was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and ghetto and sexy like a cross between Chris, Usher, T-Pain, Drake and Wocka Flocka (AN: dont u fink doz guyz r so sexy. if u dont no hu dey r get da fuk outta her!).

"Oh my god." I said after he was finished. Some fucking snobs stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in hot pink nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now) at them. "I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Paris Hilton (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and River Viiperi. Then we went away holding hands. Lupin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that Chris Brown would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16.

AN: u no wut! shut up ok! prov 2 me u aint snobz! shanaynay u suk u fukin bitch gimme bak mah fukin sweata u iz suposed 2 rite dis! shanaynay wtf u bitch u iz suposed to do dis! BTW blingz 2 eliza7877 4 teachin me japanese!

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We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where Usher had played. We ran in happly. Chris Brown was there singing 'Forever'. I was so fucking happy! Chris looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn't matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a hot pink tank top that showed my belly button with hot pink denim booty shorts, hot pink sandals, and a golden bracelet on my left wrist. Draco was wearing a blue baggy Chris Brown t-shirt and black baggy pants that were sagging and showing his blue undies. Anyway, I started twerking on him to Forever. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of Chris to stage-dive. Suddenly, Chris pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn't them at all. It was...Volsemort and da Death Dealers!

"Wtf Draco i aint going to a concert wid u!" I shouted angrily. "Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its Chris Browm n u no how much I lik him"

"Cause we...you know..." he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what.

"Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice.

"We aint doing that again." Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT."

"Wtf, are you giving into the mainstream?" I asked. "So I guess u iz a snob or a Lucia or what now?"

"NO." he muttered loudly.

"Iz u becoming a snob or what?" I shootd angrily.

"Shaquifa! I'm not! Pls come with me!" He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Climax' by Usher to me.

I was flattened cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!

"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

Jayla Marie was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she speex Japanese so do i. dat meenz 'how do u do' in japanese). "By the way Mo'Nique that fucking rich snob got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math." (an: SHANAYNAY U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)

"It serves that fuking bich right." I laughed happily.

Well anyway we where felling all happy. We wutsched some ghetto movies like Colors. "Maybe Mo'Nique will die too." I said.

"Fo sho." Jayla Marie shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. "Oh yeah i have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den lupin did it with her cause he's retarded."

"Gewd." I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.

"OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with Chris Brown." I sed. " I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA."

Jayla Marie Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. "Omg totally lets go shopping."

"In GenX and Factory4U, right?" I asked, already getting out my spshcial GenX and Factory4U Loiyalty cardes.

"No." My head snaped up.

'WHAT?" my head spuin. I could not believe it. "Jayla Marie iz u a SNOB?"

"NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed. "I found some cool ghetto stores near Hogwarts that's all."

"Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Drako or Dante or Wiggie(don't even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.

"Dumblydore." She sed. "Let me just call our broms."

"DUMBLYDORE?" I asked quietly.

"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk." She told me. "Come on let's go."

We were going in a few ghetto stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN CHRIS EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few tank tops and booty shorts. "We only have these for da real ghetto people."

"Da real ghetto people?" Me and Jayla Marie asked.

"Yah u wouldn't believe how many rich snobs ther are in this town man! Yesterday lupin and snape tried to buy a ghetto camera pouch." He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera."

"UGH THEY IZ GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!" I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a dark blue tank top with hot pink denim booty shorts.

"Omg you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said.

"Yeah it look fine as hell." said Jayla Marie.

"You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "BTW my name shaquifa ghetto'ness taylor TAKIFA brown what yours?"

"Tom Rid." He said and ran a hand through his black hair. "maybe I'll see you there tonight."

"Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv!" I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Hagrid flew in on his blue broom looking worried. "SHAQUIFA U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!"


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17.

AN: I sed stop flamin da story! if u iz a snob den dont read it! u can tel weda u iz a snob or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if u iz not den u rok. if u iz den FUK OFF! ps mo'nique aint rely a snob. Shanaynay plz do diz i promis 2 giv u bak ur posta!

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Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (he bisexual). Hagrid kept shooting at us to come back 2 Hogwarts. "Wtf Hagrid?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you bitch." Well anyway Mo'Nique came. Hargird went away angrily.

"Hey gurl you look hip." she said.

"Yeah but not as hip as you." I answered happily cause Mo'Nique's really pretty and everything. She was wearing a hot pink tank top and yellow denim booty shorts with yellow sandals and a hashtag necklace. She had a really nice body wif a big butt and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic.

"So iz u finna go 2 da concert wif Draco?" she asked.

"Yah." I said happily.

"I'm gong with Dante." she anserred happily. Well anyway Draco and Dante came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were hot 2. Danter was wearing a cyan t-shirt that said '123' on it. Draco was wearing blue sagging jeans, a ghetto red t-shirt with Usher on it and blue vans he got from da Warped tower. Jayla Marie was going 2 da concert wif Maurice. Maurice used to be called Navel but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were rappers. They dyed in a car crash. Navel converted to Ghettoism and he went ghetto. He was in Ravenclaw now. He was wearing a blue Wurped t-shirt, blue sagging jeans and shoes and black hair put into long braids. We call him Maurice now. Well anyway we al went 2 Draco's black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz we iz ghetto) that his dad Lucian gave him. We did pot, coke and crak. Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking snobs. We soon got there...I gapsed.

Chris was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had short brown hair n piercing brown eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ghetto voice. Da gurls n I twerked on our dats 2 Forever and sum odder songz. Sudenly Chris polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Chris at all! It was an ugly snobby man wif no nose and green eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was...Vlodemort and da Death Deelers!

"U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily. "Shaquifa, I told u to kill Wiggie. Thou have failed. And now...I shall kill thou and Draco!"

"No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his knife.

Sudenly a ghetto old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair put into braids like maurice and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'Queen Elizabeth' on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was...DUMBLYDORE!


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18.

AN: I SED STOP FLAMIN! if u do den u iz a fukin snob! blingz 2 shanaynay 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n u aint a snob. blingz 4 ma sweta! ps da odda reson dumbledor swor is cuz he tryin 2 be ghetto so der!

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I woke up the next day in my box. I walked out of it and put on some hot pink eyeliner, hot pink eyeshadow, hot-pink lipstick and a hot pink top that so short so you could see my belly. I was wearing golden rings on my fingers.

Da night before Draco and I went back to the skewl (geddit skewl cuz im ghetto n im kewl). Dumbledore chased Voldemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was hot pink and the broom-stuff was yellow. There was lace all over it. Draco had a blue Chris Brown broom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a T-Pain song.

Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. There all da walls were painted yellow and da tables were yellow too. But you could see that there was black paint underneath the yellow pant. And there were postas of rich snob singers everywhere, like Rena Pape and Peter Mattei.

"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to Jayla Marie and Mo'Nique. Jayla Marie was wearing an Usha t-shirt, blue denim booty shorts, black converse and golden rings with dollar signs on them. Mo'Nique was wearing a yellow tank top with green denim booty shorts, green converse and a yellow dollar sign necklace. Wiggie, Maurice and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Chris Brown or 50 Cent. The boys joined in cause they were bi.

"Those guys are fucking fine." Navel was saying as suddenly a ghetto old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chased away Voldemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing brown foundation and he had died his hair in braids.

"DUMBLEDORE?!" we all gasped.

"WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Voldemort!"

"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. What do u fink about it?"

Everyone from the rich snobby table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we ghetto peeps just looked at each other all disgusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a rich snob he was!

"BTW you can call me Albert." HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes.

"What a fucking rich snob!" Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation. We were holding hands. Wiggie looked really jealous. I could see him smile in a ghetto way but I didn't say nothing. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Mo'Nique shouted.

I was so fucking angry.


	19. Chapter 19 im on it

Chapter 19. im on it

AN: plz stop flamin da story if u do u iz a fukin snob n u iz jelus ok! from now on im gonna delet ur mean reviewz! BTW shaquifa a poorblud so der! blingz 2 shanaynay 4 da help!

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All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore. We was so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da Chris Brown concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go.

Anyway, I went to the common room carelessly to cut classes. Draco was being all secretive.

I asked what it was and he got all happy me and started laughing all hot and sexy (aint happy bi guyz fine).

"No one fucking wanna give me yayo!" he shouted angrily as his black hare went in his big brown eyes like 50 Cent. He was wearing blue sagging paints, a blue Chris Brown t-shirt and a yellow tie. I was wearing an orange low cut tank top with chains all over it all over it, matching over booty short, orange sandals and a necklace that said 123 on it. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Ashanti in some of her music videos. (email me if u wana c da pik)

"Excuse me? What about me!" I growled.

"But-but-but-" he grunted.

"You fucking bastard!" I moaned.

"No! Wait! It's ain't what it look like!" he shouted.

But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, crying soft teas. Draco banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my pink eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Porsha in the show Real Housewivez of Atlanta (shanaynay dat iz so our sho!). I TOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.

Suddenly Hargrid came. He had appearated.

"You gave me a fucking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot. "Wtf do you fink you're doing in da gurl's room?"

Only it wasn't just Hargrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumblydore.

"Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his yellow wanabe-geto purse. "What iz u wearing to the concert?"

"U no who Chris Brown iz!" I gasped.

"No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of thugz and geto peepz were going 2." He said. "Anyway Draco has a surprise for u."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20.

AN: i sed i dont kare wut u fink! stop flamin ok snobz! blingz 2 shanaynay 4 da help! oh yea btw ill be on vakation in chikago 4 da nex 3 dayz so dont expekt updatez.

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All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I put on a green and yellow tank top with green denim booty shorts, yellow pleated boots and golden wristbands. Chris Brown is going 2 do the concert again, since Voldemort had taken over the last one. I count my money while I twerked 2 Chris Brown in my bedroom all night, feeling excited. Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum pink clothes and twerking to Bling You. I get all happy and turned it off, but secretly I hoped inside dat it was Draco so we could do it again.

"Wut da fuck iz u doing!" I shouted angrily. It was Lupin! "Iz u gonna come rape me or what." I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Dumbledore had told us all 2 be careful around him and Snape since he was a pedo.

"No, actgelly (geddit, hair gel) kan I plz burrow sum condemns." he growld angrily.

"Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?" I shouted sarkastikally.

"Fuker." He said, going away.

Well anyway, I put on some pink eyesharow, pink eyeliner, and some pink lipstick. Then I went. Den I gasped...Snake and Lupin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!

"Oh my god you ludacris idiot!" they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Dobby ran away crying. Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (i luv seein guyz do it) but both of them were fuking snobs. (btw snape is moved 2 griffindoor now)

"WTF is that why u wanted condoms?" I asked angriliy. (c i speld dat)

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lupin shouted angrily.

"Well you shoulda told me." I replayed.

"You dimwit!" Snape began 2 shoot angrily. And then...I took out my hot pink camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything.

"Well xcuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was dat al about?"

"It wuz to blackmail u." I snarked. "So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I'll show dis to Dumbledork. So fuck off, u bastards!" I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wand at them and dey tripped over it. Well anyway, I went outside and there was Wiggie, looking extremely fucking hot.

"WTF where Draco at?" I asked him.

"Oh he's bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn't come." Wiggie said shaking his hed. "U wanna come with me? 2 the concert?"

Then...he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his dogfather Sirius Black had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed CB123 on it. The one on da back said 'Shaquifa' on it.

...I gasped.

We flew to the concert hall. Chris Brown was there, singing.

Wiggie and I began 2 make out, while I twerked to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da singer.

I almost had an orgasim. Chris Brown was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing 'Forever' and his sexy beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall...And den, I heard some laughing. I turned and saw Draco, laughin in a corner.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21.

AN: fuk u ok! u fukin suk. it aint ma fault if itz speld rong ok cuz dat bitch shanaynay cuz it fuk u snobz! woopz sry shanaynay blingz 4 da help. btw chicago rox hard! I even got 2 go 2 da place wer 8 mile was filmed!

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Later we all went in the skewl. Draco was laughing in da common room. "Draco is u okay?" I asked in a ghetto voice.

"No I aint u fuking bitch!" he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a careless way. I started to chuckle cuz I was afraid he would start couting his money.

"It aight Shaquifa." said Wiggie comfortly. "Ill make him feel good."

"U mean you'll go fuck him wont you!" I shouted angrily. Then I ran 2 get Draco. Wiggie came too.

"Draco please come!" he began to cry. Soft tears came down his brown face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if u iz a homophone den fuk off!)

And then...we herd sum footsteps! Wiggie got out his yelo invincibility coke. We both gut under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Norris there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

"WHOSE THERE!" he shouted angrily. We saw Filth come. He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly.

"IS ANY1 THERE!" yelled Mr. Norris.

"No fuck u you little rich snobby sun of a fukcing bich!" Wiggie said under his breast in a disgusted way.

"EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!" yelled Mr. Norris. Den he heard Filch meow. "Filth is der any1 unda da cloak!" he asked. Filth nodded. And then...Wiggie frenched me! He did it jus as... Mr. Norris was taking of da cloak!

"WHAT DA-" he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. And den we saw Draco smiling n bustin in2 lafta and counting his money outside of da school.

"Draco!" I said. "Iz u aight?"

"I guess though." Draco said. We went back to our boxes frenching each other. Draco and I decided to watch South Central (c aint dat relaxin) on the ghetto yellow bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Fug and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22.

AN: stfu! snobz stop flamin ok if u dont like it fuk off i no itz mr. noris it shanaynay's folt ok! u suk! no just kidding shanaynay u fukin rok snobz suk!

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All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic. Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my box so I opened the door. I was wearing pink lacey pajamas. Then I gasped.

Standing in front of me where...Jayla Marie, Wiggie, Dante, Draco, Maurice and Mo'Nique!

I opened my brown eyes. Mo'Nique was wearing a tight orangle tank top with pictures of green dollar signs all over it. Under that she wore some orange denim booty shorts wit lace on it and orange ghetto boots that was attached to the top. Wiggie was wearing a baggy Drake t-shirt and baggy blue pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a red Chris Brown t-shirt and green jeans and a denim jacket. He looked just likee Chris Brown, and almost as fucking sexy. Wiggie looked like Usher. Jayla Marie was wearing a tight yellow tank top that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a yellow booty shorts that said 'bich' and other swear words and Chris Brown lyrics on it kind of like an outfit I had seen Ashanti wear once. Ronisha (who is Jenny) was there too. She was weaving a ripped green tank top with green denim shorts and green sandals. Crab and Goyle were both wearing yellow tshirts, blue sagging jeans and gray vans. It turns out that Ronisha, Dante, Crab and Goyle's dad was a rapper. He committed suicide by shooting himself with a gun. He had given them all his money too. They all got so happy that they became geto and converted to Ghettoism.

"OMFG" I yielded as I jumped up. "Why the fuck is u all here?"

"Shaquifa something is really fucked up." Draco said.

"OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first." I shouted angrily.

"It's all right. We have to go now and you look hip anyway. You is so fucking beautiful." Draco said in a sexy voice.

"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective."

"I will I will." he said.

So I just put on some pink eyeliner, pink lipstick and yellow eyeshadow. Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow. A fucking snob called Elizabeth from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a white and purple fancy skirt and a Paris Hilton t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her. Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork. Cornelia Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too.

"THIS CANNOT BE!" she shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!"

"THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!" yelled Cornelia Fudge.

"YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Rumbridge. "YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!"

"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily. "Butt we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is...Shaquifa Ghetto'ness Taylor Shanaynay Brown."

Draco, Crab, Goyle, Ronisha, Mo'Nique, Wiggie and Jayla Marie looked at each other...I gasped.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23.

AN: shut da fuk up bitchez! u iz just jelus cuz i got 10000 revewz! blingz 2 shanaynay 4 da help n telin me about da boox gurl u rok letz go shoppin 2getha!

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The door opened and Proffesor Rumbridge and Cornelia Fudge stomped out angrily. Then Dumbledum and Rumbridge sawed us.

"MR. WAY WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!" Rumbridge shouted angrily. Dumbledore blared at her.

"Oops she made a mistake!" he corrupted her. "She means hi everybody come in!"

Well we all came in happily. So did all the other students. I sat between Ronisha and Draco and opposite Jayla Marie. Crab and Goyle started 2 make some ratchet jokes. They both looked exactly like Eddie Murphy. I eight some Fruit Loops and drank som koolaid from a cup. Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was...Wiggie! He and Draco were shooting at eachother.

"Wiggie, Draco WTF?" I asked.

"You fucking bustard!" yelled Draco at Wiggie. "I want to shit next to her!1"

"No I do!" shouted.

"No she doesn't fucking like u, you son of a bitch!" yelled Draco.

"No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!" shouted Wiggie. And then...he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv) They started to fight and beat up each other.

Dumbldore yelled at them but they didn't stop. All of a sudden...a terrible man with brown eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. He had no nose and was wearing a blue robe. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Elizabeth that fucking snob started to cry. Wiggie and Draco stopped fighting...I shopped eating...Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent...Volzemort!

"Shaquifa...Shaquifa..." Darth Valer sed evilly in his raspy voice. "Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Wiggie as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Draco too!"

"Plz don't make me kill him plz!" I begged.

"No!" he laughed crudely. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!" Then he flew away cackling.

I bust into laughter. Draco and Wiggie came to contort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and ghetto. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldremot coming to kill Draco while Draco counted his money in a careless way.

"No!" I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.

"Shaquifa Shaquifa iz you aight?" asked Draco in a worried voice.

"Yeah yeah." I said annoyed as I got up.

"Everyfing aight Shaquifa." said Wiggie all sensetive.

"No it aint!" I shouted angrily. Soft tearz went down my face. "OMFG what if I'm getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!"

"It aight gurl." said Jayla Marie. "Maybe u should ask Proffesor Ratchet about what the visions mean though."

"Ok bich." I said happily and den we went.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24.

AN: snobz stop flamin da story u iz just jelus so fuk u ok go 2 hel! shanaynay blingz 4 da help!

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Well we had Deviation next so I got to ask Proffessor Trevolry about the visions.

"Konnichiwa everybody come in." said Proffesor Ratchet in Japanese. She smelled at me with her ghetto pink lipstick. She's da coolest fucking teacher ever. She had long brown hair with hot pink tips and brown eyes. (her mom wuz a rapper. she also half Japanese so she speak it n evryfing. she n jayla marie get along grate) She's really young for a teacher. 2day she was wearing a pink ghetto t-shirt with pink capris and pink flip flops. We went inside the yellow classroom with pastors of Tia and Tamera. I raced my hand. I was wearing some pink nail Polish with yellow dollar signs on it.

"What is it Shaquifa?" she asked. "Hey I love ur nail polish where'd u get it, GenX?"

"Yeah." I answered. All the snobs who didn't know what GenX was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. "Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?"

"Ho about now?" she asked.

"OK." I said.

"OK class fucking dismissed every1." Proffesor Trevolry said and she let every1 go. "Except for you Elizabeth." she pointed at Elizabeth and sum other snobs. "Please do escorcize (geddit, score) 1 on page 3."

"OK I'm having lotz of visions." I said in a worried voice. I'm so worried is Draco gong 2 die.

Well she gave me a pink cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it.

"What do you c?" she asked.

"I said I see a green ghetto dollar sign and a hashtag."

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Draco. He was looking really sexy wearing a blue denim jacket, a red ghetto T-Pain t-shirt and brown Congress shoes.

"Okay you can go now, see ya cunt." said Proffesor Ratchet.

"Bye bitch." I said waving.

I went to Draco and Wiggie was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so exhibited.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25.

AN: stop flamin ok if u dont den ill tel Romeo 2 beat u up! n ill tel al da nerdz 2 put virusez in ur computa! FUK U! shanaynay blingz for da help!

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I was so excited. I fellowed Draco wandering if we where going 2 do it again. We went outside and then we went into Draco's green car.

"Shaquifa what the fuck did Profesor Trevolry say." whispered Draco potting his ghetto black hand with yellow nail polish on mine.

"She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow." I grumbled in a sexy voice. He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. He started to fly the car into a tree. We went to the top of it. Draco put on some Chris Brown.

"You make it hard for me to see somebody else  
I'm calling her your name  
Yea it's messed up, cause I'm thinkin about you  
It's your fault babe  
I never wanted us to break up  
No not this way  
But you don't understand it girl." sang Chris's sexy voice. We started tiling of each other's cloves fevently. He took of my yellow thong and my yellow cotton bar. I took of his blue boxers. Then...he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily.

"OMFG Draco Draco!" I screamed having an orgism. We stated frenching passively. Suddenly...I fell asleep. I started having a dream. In it a blue guy **(blue to prevent racism here)** was shooting two ghetto men with long brown hair.

"No! Please don't fucking kill us!" they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car.

"No! Oh my fucking god!" I shouted in a scared voice.

"Shaquifa what wrong?" Draco asked me as I woke up opening my brown eyes.

I started to cry and soft tears went down my face. I told Draco to call Wiggie. He did it with his yellow T-Pain mobile. Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where...Lucian and Serious!


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26.

AN: SNOBZ STOP FLAMIN DA STORY OK!1 if u dont like da story den go fuk urself u fukin snob! U SUK! oh yea and I waznt bein racist ok!

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A few mutates later Wiggie came 2 da tree. He was wearing a blue denim jacket, blue sagging jeans and an Usher t-shirt.

"Hey Wiggie." I said flirtily as I started to sob. Draco hugged me sexily tryont to comfrot me. I started to cry tears of koolaid and then told them what happened.

"Oh fuck it!" Wiggie shouted angrily. He started to laugh happily. "What fucking dick did that!"

"I don't know." I said. "Now come on we have 2 tell Dumbledor."

We ran out of the tree and in2 da castle. Dumblydor was sitting in his office.

"Sire are dads have been shot!" Draco said while he wipped sum fake tears from his brown face. "Shaquifa had a vision in a dreem."

Dubleodre started to cockle. "Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Shaquifa's not divisional?"

I glared at Dumbledore.

"Look motherfucker." he said angrily as Dumbeldore gasped (c iz dat outta caracta). "U know very well that I'm not decisional. Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Sirius and Lucian- pronto!"

"Okay." he said in a intimated voice. "Were are they?"

I fought about it. Then all of a sudden..."Longdon." I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Draco, Wiggie and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Draco to wait in the nurses office while Wiggie went to count his money in his room. We looked at each other's ghetto, relaxed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Serious and Lucian came in on stretchers...and Proffesor Ratchet was behind them!


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27. ill call ya

AN: u no wut! I dont giv a fuk wut u snobz fink about me! so stop flamin da fuking story bichez! blingz 2 shanaynay 4 ur luv n support n help i luv u gurl sry i couldnt update lol I wuz rly sik n i wuznt feelin well i had 2 go 2 da hospital shanaynay u rok gurl!

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Every1 in the room stated to laugh happly- I had saved them. Drako, Lucian, Serious bond Wiggie all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.

"Come on Shaquifa." said Proffesor Ratchet. She was wearing a ghetto yellow t-shirt with blue denim shorts and fuking yellow sandals. "I have to tell you the fucking perdition."

I locked at Lucian, Serifs, Drake and Wiggie. They nodded.

I smelled happily and went into a pink room. I had changed Profesor Ratchet took out some yellow cards. She started to look into a pink crucible ball. She said..."Takifa, I see drak times are near." She said badly. She peered into da balls. "You see, you must go back in time." She took out a Time-Toner like Jayla Marie had. "When Voldemint was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken. Now do you fink he would still become Volxemort if he was in love?" I shook my head. "U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it."

"Okay." I said sadly. We did peace sign. I went outside again sadly.

"What fucking happened?" asked Draco and Wiggie.

"Yeah what happened?" asked Ronisha, Mo'Nique and Jayla Marie?

I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Lucian and Sirius being fond. Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Draco. They were cheesing my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumblydore. A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking snobz were there oviously tring 2 be b geto wering the yolo sign on their handz- depite them not having actgelly heard of Drake. Even Mr. Noris looked happy. A pink and yellow cake had been brought out. Crabbe and Goyke set up some fireworx in the shape of dollar signs from Wesley's Whizard Wises.

I put on my Invisibility coke with Wiggie and Draco and we sneaked outside 2gether.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28.

AN: I sed stop flamin da story it wuz a mistake wen profesa relory sed dat ok! GO 2 FUKIN HELL! U SUK! blingz 2 Kiana 4 da help! shanaynay hav fun wif kiwi!

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We went in2 a yellow room. The wallz were yellow with portraits of ghetto bands like Chris Brown, Usher and Wocka Flocka all over them. A big pink box was in the middle. yellow vevlet lined da pink box. There were three chairs made of rocks with real gold in dem. I wuz wearing a light blue tank top with light blue denim booty shorts, green sandals and a yello cotton thong underneath.

I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. So did Drako and Wiggie.

"Is you okay?" Wiggie asked potting his albastard hand on mine. He was wearing yello nail polish. I was wearing yellow nail polish with pink hashtag signs on it.

"Yah I guess." I said happily. Drako also pot his hand on mine sexily. I smiled happily with my hot pink lipstick. "The problem is...I have to seduce Volxemort. Ill have 2 go bak in time"

Draco started to laugh happily. Wiggie hugged him.

"It aight Shaquifa." he said finally. "But what about me? U aint finna brake up or anyfing, are you?"

"Of coarse not!" I gasped.

"For real?" he asked.

"Sure." I said.

We frenched sexily. Wiggie looked at us longingly.

Then...I took off Draco's Chris Brown shrift and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik a stallone. He had replaced the Wiggie tattoo that said Shaquifa on it. Red roses were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Chris Brown. Wiggie took a vido camera. (i had sed it wuz ok b4).

I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif.

We started freching as we climbed into the box. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it.

"I love you Shaquifa. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u." he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Wiggie filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly...

"WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!"

It was...Snope and Profesor McGoggle!


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29.

AN: shut da fuk up! u iz just jeluz cuz u iz snobz so fuk u! shanaynay u rok gurl blingz 4 da help CHRIS BROWN ROX 123!

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"Oh my god!" we screamed as we jamped out of da box. Snap and Professor McGoonagle started to shoot at us angrily.

"COME NOW!" Preacher McGongel yielded. We did guiltily. We left the room putting on our clothes. Snoop garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket.

"Hey what the fuck!" Wiggie shooted angrily.

"Yeah buster what the fuck is u finna do with the fucking camera?" Draco demonded all protective, looking at me Longley with his ghetto brown eyes. "Look, Dumblehor noes your little secret and if u do dis again, then u will go to St Mango's. So give back da camera!"

Hahahaha the Mystery of Mogic thinks he is crazy there is no way dey wil believe him. Snoop laughed meanly.

"Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!" yelled Proffesor McGoggle. She made us come into a weird room with brown stones all around it. There were all these werid tools in it. Draco started to laugh all sexy and sexitive (geddit cuz he a sexbomb lol tom felton rulez 4 life but not as much as chris ur sex on legz I luv u u fukin rok mary me!).

I started to cry tearz of koolaid (it happenz in housewivez of atlanta shanaynay sed so ok so fuk u!). Wiggie took out a yellow hankerchief and started to wipe my brown eyes.

And then...he and Snoop both took out guns using magic. They started to shoot each other angrily. Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet. I took out my wand.

"Crosio!" I shouted. Snap stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets. I STOPPED DA CURSE. Profesor McGoogle did a spell so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools. Den she said "OK Serverus I'm going 2 go now." She left. Snap started to laugh evilly. Wiggie started to laugh.

"It aight Shaquifa." said Draco. "Evergreen will be all right. Remember the cideo u took of Snake."

Snape laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30.

AN: stop flamin da story ok u dont no wutz even gona happen ok! so FUK U! if u flame u wil be a snob so al flamaz kan kiss ma ass! sry 4 sry 4 sayin alzhimers is dangerouz but datz da mysteryz opinion cuz society basicaly sux. blingz 2 shanaynay u rok bich!

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"No!" we screamed loudly. Snap stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly. Then...he came tords Darko! He took sum stones out of his poket. He put da stones around Draco and nit a candle.

"What the fuck iz u doing!" I shooted arngrily. Snoop laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!

He waved his wand and a gun came. He gave da gun 2 me.

"U must stab Wiggie." he said to me. "If u don't then I'll rap Draco!"

"No you fucking bastrad!" I yielded.

But den Draco looked at me sadly with his sleepy geto brown eyes dat looked so exciting and sexy. He lookd exactly like a dollar (lol geddit cuz im a ghettoist) between Kurt Cobain and Gerard. But then I looked at Wiggie and he looked so smexy too wif his geto black hair. I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Draco and Dumblydore came and the tame where Draco almost commited suicide and Wiggie wuz so sportive.

Snipe laughed angrily. He started to prey to Volxemort. He started to do an incapacitation dancing around the stokes whipping Draco and Wiggie. Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my rapping powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Drako and Wiggie so they would destruct Snape.

"Dumbeldork will get u!" Draco shooted.

"Yah just wait until da Mystery find out!" Wiggie yelled. Meanwhile I took out my wand.

"You ridiculus dondderhed!" Snoop yielded. He took off all of Draco's clothes. Just as he was about to rape him...

"Crosio!" I shited pointing my wound. Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my yellow mobile and sent a txt 2 Serious. I stopped doing crucio.

"You dunderhed! Im going to kill-" shooted Snape but suddenly Serverus came.

Snake put the whip behind his bak. "Oh hello Sev I wuz just teaching them sumthing." he lied. But suddenly Lusian and Profesor Trevolry came in2 da room and they and Serious unlocked the chains and put dem around Snap. Then Profesor Trevolry said 'Come on Shaquifa let's go."


End file.
